I have always felt a connection with animals more than people, especially dogs. I have loved dogs since I was a child but I never really understood how connected someone truly could get until I got my little guardian angel. I have told the surface of my story but, right before my anxiety and depression started, we got a dog.
Eight years ago my mom wanted a German Shepherd so we found a breeder and went to see the puppies. Mom wanted a girl and we let her pick us. I picked out a name and we said we will call out her name and whoever comes, that is our dog. I went to the bathroom while my mom did this because she was supposed to be my moms. When I came out and sat on the ground and called her name, she came running and laid under my legs, something she still does to this day. We brought her home and my dad didn't want to potty train her throughout the night so she stayed with me. I didn't know that she would not only become my dog daughter but literally save my life.
We started bonding right away as I started training her and she quickly became attached to my hip then, all my mental illnesses started acting up and I realized she was brought to me to help me.
I had panic attacks and depressive spells that would have me shaking and crying and she would come to me and make me lay on her, anyone who knows her knows she doesn't like cuddling but, she felt my emotions with me and made sure I was okay and refused to leave my side.
I noticed how smart she was when I could tell her to find Nana for me when I was too distraught to find her myself. I knew she was there for me but one night I felt so in pain, so alone, and I just wanted everything to stop. I picked up a bottle and dumped the pills in my hand, sat on the floor ready to end it all. She was not having it. She laid on top of me, licked away my tears and wouldn't let me move until I calmed down and put the pills away. She saved my life that night and I knew then that no matter how dark my world gets, whenever I feel alone, she's there for me.
I registered her soon after as an emotion support animal and though my days aren't quite like they used to be, I still have my moments and she still steps in to help me.
I won't lie and say that was the last time I tried but then I remember what stopped me the first time and I know she will get me through it again.
My Zara girl, my princess, my guardian angel, momma loves you so much and I am forever grateful for you.
